A part of me thought about not doing one of these memory recaps this month, but you know what, I’ve been doing it for a year and a half and its been one of my favorite posts. Too make it organized I am doing headers.
I have talked about it a few times before, but if you don’t keep up, my grandmother is sick. Last month, she suffered and blood clot. She can longer do things for herself. This month was a new life for us all and a lot of highs and lows, Some days she would be fine, others not so much. Unfortunately yesterday she was taken to the hospital and is still there at the time I am writing this, July 31 2021. My family keeps on telling me to be prepared and that she might not make it. That is the hardest thing for me to hear because all I want is for to get better. I am terrified to get a message or call telling me that happened. She more of a mother to me and I havent seen her since January 2020. And I am still stuck in a whole other country and I am barely keeping it together.
I turned 24 years old a few days ago and my blog turned 2. Its also been 2 years since I last straightened my hair. Safe to say that this month has a lot of milestones.
Fun fact, I have always gotten custom cakes for my birthday. Its a habit my paternal grandmother has given me and I am not stopping it anytime soon. Obviously, I had to get a custom cake my birthday and this one did not disappoint. It was a pink ombre with butterflies and a chocolate and vanilla sponge with ferrero roche cream Will warn you it was expensive.
I also sent a huge care package for my grandparents. If anyone’s from the Caribbean you might know what it means to send a barrel back home. Well thats what I did. Mostly, it was stuff for my grandmother, but also stuff for my grandfather, uncle and cousins. Last year, I sent one and said I would never do it again. Guess what, I did not listen to myself. Its was an expensive thing to do and might not be that useful since it was for my grandmother.
Not that anyone cares, I got my first credit card. Technically, I had a credit card a few years ago, but never used. However, I got that one to use. I thought it was about time that I started using a credit card and building credit. Plus, there have been enough times where I have needed to use a credit card but could because I didnt have one.
safe to say, my mental health is non-existent this month. Sadly, I don’t see it getting better. But this month, for the first time, I felt heard and understood. One of the individuals I volunteer for, know whats going on and she saw that I am pretending that everything’s okay. And for the first time someone called me out on pretending that everything’s okay. And something she said that stuck with me was that I need to advocate for myself. Having that conversation with her, had led to me wanting to get help and not just taking medication hoping that it goes away.
I have been looking into mental health counselling and its harder than it seems. I applied to one place, but theres a 7 month waiting list, and its going to take me a month to get an intake assessment. And even if I do go through with it, the service ends on my 25th birthday. So I don’t really have hope there. I will contact a few more places to see, but I don’t have hope. And I might very well have to pay for that help. Although it might be expensive, its an investment in myself!
Its been 2 full months since I started my full-time job. I love my team/co-workers, the pay and my job. It was one of those moments where everything worked out and happened for a reason. I think they like me and trust me. And they say I’m helpful. Whenever they teach me something new, I pick it up really quick and then on my own, but always asking questions along the way. And they keep on giving me more and more responsibility.
However, the job scares and makes me want to cry. A lot of the people I work with are men and I am one of the youngest and most recent employees. The role involves going back to project managers and accounts executives asking them question about different things. I hate doing that because a lot of the times, I don’t understand what they are saying and I dont want to email them back asking for clarifying. Also, am scared to email customers wrong information.
TV shows and books
I finished 4 books this months. So proud of myself
- The Deal by Elle Kennedy
- Savage Beginnings by J.L. Beck
- Remedial Rocket Science by Susannah Nix
- Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark
Lately, I haven’t been watching much television. I am in the middle of Virgin River (S3) , currently watching The Good Witch and watched Season 1 and 2 of the Coroner.
Funnel cake is one of my guilty pleasures/ summertime treats. The last time I had it was September 2019, so obviously its been a while. And thats how I had funnel cake twice for dinner this month. There’s this ice-cream near Lakeshore in Mississauga that does funnel cake and it is the best thing ever. If you’ve never had funnel cake, its basically fried dough topped with powdered sugar, ice-cream and toppings of your choice. I went with chocolate syrup, marshmallow cream and strawberry