This month feels like the month from hell. So much has happened – more bad than good. So, I am going to keep this short.
My grandmother died almost a week ago. This was my breaking point and too be honest, I don’t know if and how I will recover. I’ve lost a lot of people, but this is the worst. With that said, I will be travelling back home in a few days, which is a bit scary to me because I havent been on a plane since January 2020, and I didnt want that to be the reason why I go back.
I started my masters program somewhat. To continue in the masters program for economics, you need to do a math course thats 3 weeks long. Not going to lie, trying to balance 5 hours of math with a full time job was rough. I would basically be playing catch up over the weekend because I was brain dead at the end of the day. The course was divided into 3 sections, with a test for each section. I failed the first test by 2 points because fucking anxiety, passed the second one and had to delay the third one. Two days before the final test, I was in the middle of studying for it when I got the news my grandmother died. Thankfully my professor is understanding. Hopefully, I can finish it up in the next week.
Regarding grad school, I dont know whats going to happen. My program needs to be okay with me not being there for the first month. I contacted them and explained the situation, so I am just waiting to hear back from them and I will see what happens next. Obviously, no one wants to lose a loved one 2 weeks before school starts. I’ve done school while grieving and its rough, I was in the worst place mentally. But I want to continue the program for her.
Work sometimes makes me want to cry. Its been a rough month because we have been short staffed. On the entire team, we have 2 people on medical leave, one who resigned and one on vacation leaving just 6 of us left. The Canadian team has about 12 people, with the east having 5 and the west having 7. I am on the Eastern team and there are only 2 of us. As soon as you think you’re done with one thing, another one comes at you. Also, I have realized that the PMs (project managers) are starting to know me. I am not sure how I feel about that.
One of the best things to happen this month was seeing a guy. We went out and had a good time. Yesterday however, decided to end things. I am leaving for a month and he’s going through his personal things. When I get back, if he’s still single then maybe we might try things again. If its meant to happen, it will happen.
Dating him taught me that I deserve the world when it comes to seeing someone and I should never settle for less. Now my standards are high and whoever I end up dating next better reach those standards or surpass it.
After this month, I am broke. I bought a new phone (iphone 12), a macbook and flights. Also, I started a really bad uber eats habit that I need to break because it adds up overtime.
One thought on “August 2021 Memories”
So sorry to hear about it all…
One can only imagine what the month must have been like for you.
Stay strong 🖤