August 2021 Memories

This month feels like the month from hell. So much has happened – more bad than good. So, I am going to keep this short.

Life

My grandmother died almost a week ago. This was my breaking point and too be honest, I don’t know if and how I will recover. I’ve lost a lot of people, but this is the worst. With that said, I will be travelling back home in a few days, which is a bit scary to me because I havent been on a plane since January 2020, and I didnt want that to be the reason why I go back.

Grad School

I started my masters program somewhat. To continue in the masters program for economics, you need to do a math course thats 3 weeks long. Not going to lie, trying to balance 5 hours of math with a full time job was rough. I would basically be playing catch up over the weekend because I was brain dead at the end of the day. The course was divided into 3 sections, with a test for each section. I failed the first test by 2 points because fucking anxiety, passed the second one and had to delay the third one. Two days before the final test, I was in the middle of studying for it when I got the news my grandmother died. Thankfully my professor is understanding. Hopefully, I can finish it up in the next week.

Regarding grad school, I dont know whats going to happen. My program needs to be okay with me not being there for the first month. I contacted them and explained the situation, so I am just waiting to hear back from them and I will see what happens next. Obviously, no one wants to lose a loved one 2 weeks before school starts. I’ve done school while grieving and its rough, I was in the worst place mentally. But I want to continue the program for her.

Work

Work sometimes makes me want to cry. Its been a rough month because we have been short staffed. On the entire team, we have 2 people on medical leave, one who resigned and one on vacation leaving just 6 of us left. The Canadian team has about 12 people, with the east having 5 and the west having 7. I am on the Eastern team and there are only 2 of us. As soon as you think you’re done with one thing, another one comes at you. Also, I have realized that the PMs (project managers) are starting to know me. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Dating

One of the best things to happen this month was seeing a guy. We went out and had a good time. Yesterday however, decided to end things. I am leaving for a month and he’s going through his personal things. When I get back, if he’s still single then maybe we might try things again. If its meant to happen, it will happen.

Dating him taught me that I deserve the world when it comes to seeing someone and I should never settle for less. Now my standards are high and whoever I end up dating next better reach those standards or surpass it.

Purchases

After this month, I am broke. I bought a new phone (iphone 12), a macbook and flights. Also, I started a really bad uber eats habit that I need to break because it adds up overtime.