October 2020 memories

Happy Halloween!

Fun fact I have never celebrated or dressed up for Halloween. It wasn’t something that was celebrated where I lived before moving to Canada, and even when I was here, I always had night classes. Hopefully one year. In the mean time, I will try to watch as many halloween movies as I can.

Also, daylight savings ends tomorrow. An extra hour to sleep.

So this month was an okay one. There were highs, lows, scares. Also my student status is ending (bank and spotify) and it makes me sad having to pay the adult price.

I finally got my new PR card in the mail. Finally. If only I could travel. I would love that, but I’m broke and smart.

Lately I have been obsessed with journaling. I currently have 4. My everyday journal, reading journal, new grad journal and 2020 journal.

I actually started the new grad and 2020 journals this month. My new grad journal is more like a traditional bullet journal, if you are used to that. I have a monthly spread where I record my expenses, job applications and things I am grateful for in it. I use it pretty much every single day along with my every day journal. And the 2020 is just to remember and reflect on the rollercoaster that is this year. There were some shitty things, but there were also some good that happened. So far, all I have in it is an about me page.

I enjoy journaling because it helps with my anxiety and my mood. I can spend hours distracted and not worried. Plus, I always have the memory to look back on. So if you want to try it, you should. You do not need to be talented at drawing or calligraphy. And the more you practice, the better you get. You also do not need the fanciest stationary. If you need inspiration, Pinterest and Reddit is where it is at.

Another thing I have been getting into this month, is digital illustrations. I am not good at it, but I enjoy it. My dog being so many different shades of brown was the hardest thing to do.

From the end of last month, to the beginning of this month, we had issues with our furnace. Why is this important? Because I live in Canada where its cold 8 months out of the year. The few days that the heat wasn’t working, it was freezing. I cannot imagine how worse it would be in the single digits or negative. Since I am home, I always got to wait for them to come. It could be early or it could be late. Its just me. The last time they came, was when I had a ton of police in front of my house. Because of my past trauma and being alone, I was absolutely terrified. I talked about that night here. The interesting part of that entire night was that one of my neighbours, an old guy (50s/60s) was found dead in his bathroom. Its kind of sad to think that he died alone, with no one knowing till the next day.

This month I did a lot of thinking and research about whether or not I wanted to go to grad school and if so where. I will let you know that decision in a few days. In all of that I learned something important; that there is a lack of Black, Indigenous and People of Colour (BIPOC) in grad school for economics /business /finance*. Looking at the alumni and current students of the school I am interested and with my alma mater the diversity is lacking. Even the directors of the program I am interested in, admitted that there was no diversity. Knowing all of that, I still want to attend that school. No matter what grad school I go to in Canada, I am still going to be the outsider and minority. I do find it funny how said school sent me an information booklet, handwriting my name and address even though I do not remember giving them my address.

*Note that I am referring to Canadian grad schools. Depending on the country, the situation might be different.

Last week we had a bit of a scare with my grandfather which worried my mom and I. He was just not feeling well. I am grateful that he feels better now. But that guy is just stubborn. Refused to go see the doctor. I am just grateful that he’s feeling better right now.

I am kind of getting tired of looking for a job. I just feel like its overwhelming and its getting no where. I’m not even getting rejections at this point, and even if I do its for something I applied to months ago. I slightly changed my strategy. At first I applied to jobs just for the sake of trying to get one and just getting that experience. A lot of the times it was roles I was not excited about like sales to applying to more analyst and finance roles. Next week I have a virtual coffee chat with someone from a bank and I am looking forward to that because I am tired of applying to jobs.

This probably sounds weird, but I prefer virtual events to in-person ones. I’m less anxious and don’t have to be around too many people I don’t know.

The only tv I watched this month was the latest episode of Below Deck Med which has just been trash. Can’t wait for Captain Lee to come back. I tried Emily in Paris, but was over it after 4 episodes. I listened to a lot of Tate McRae and Alec Benjamin though. They were always on repeat. If you like Billie Eilish, you’re probably going to like Tate.

When it comes to reading, I read 7 full books and the last bit of another one. 3 of them was a series and 4 of them were mafia romances. Why am I so weird? The books I read were:

The Roommate by Rosie Danan
Truly Devious (Truly Devious 1) by Maureen Johnson
The Vanishing Stair (Truly Devious 2) by Maureen Johnson
The Hand on the Wall (Truly Devious 3) by Maureen Johnson
Sweet Temptation by Cora Reilly
Code of Silence by Shantel Tessier
The Bloody Bride (The Rochetti Dynasty #1) by Bree Porter
Pricipessa of Chicago (The Rochetti Dynasty #2) by Bree Porter

I am currently in the middle of several books with Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins being my current read. I can’t wait to read Crazy Stupid Bromance by Lyssa Kay Adams, but it just came out and I am broke. In the meantime, I’ll just read the 70 other books that I have purchased but haven’t read. Also I increased my goodreads goal from 36 to 50 books because it was mid- October I reached 40. My goal was only 12 books for the year, so knowing that I surpassed that in a few months, I was happy.

In case you want to catch up, this is what I posted throughout the month: