I’m Anxious Over Taking Photos and I Hate Myself

I’m taking my graduation photos this afternoon. Its 10:30 right now and I am ball of anxiety. And its such a weird feeling for me because I haven’t felt that in a while. Some part of me hates myself that I can’t do something normal and something that I have been looking forward to. The other part of me is going to be sick.

I don’t know if its because I went to bed after 4am. Not my best idea okay. No judging.

Or maybe because I asked my mom to wake me up and she scared the living shit out of me. Something happened years ago, so sometimes I get frightened when you just yell. It brings back bad memories.

Maybe its because I started a new dose of sertraline/zoloft two nights ago. I was on 75mg for a while, and the doctor convinced me to go higher. Maybe I’m still adjusting to it. I remember it being shitty in the beginning.

Maybe its because I am scared to go somewhere on my own because of everything going on. Its not like before you know. Plus, its in an area I’ve never been in so I am just taking Uber there because if not I’ll get lost. And not taking that risk.

Maybe its because I don’t feel pretty. I don’t wear make up and my face looks like trash.

I don’t know why. I just know I feel anxious about getting my fucking graduation photos done. Ughhhhhhh

Sometimes I wonder why can’t I be normal.

Advertisements

Posted by

A quirky, possibly crazy 22 year old talking about her life and doggie.

5 thoughts on “I’m Anxious Over Taking Photos and I Hate Myself

  1. Being normal is overrated 🙂 I completely get your anxiety about photos though – I get so self-conscious and take a million before I’m satisfied because I always feel that I look overweight/my skin doesn’t look great or in general I am just an unattractive blob. You definitely do not look like trash though you are awesome xxx

    Also P.S. I nominated you for a blogging award so I hope you accept the nomination (it’s my second last post – The Awesome Blogger Award)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww thanks for saying that. I can relate to taking a ton of photos just to choose the “best” one. Unfortunately this time, that didn’t happen.

      And thanks for nominating me. I will do it soon.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.