Today was the first time in over a week that I went outside. And it was only to go pick up pizza that we ordered for dinner. Also, it was the first time in a few days, that in real clothes and not pyjamas because thats what my life is lately. Sleeping too much, doing nothing and staying in my pyjamas the entire day. There is not much else for me to do.
I had high hopes for March. It started out good, but umm it didn’t stay that way.
With all of this going on, I’ve been struggling. I am grateful to be healthy and I am trying to do my part in flattening the curve but emotional health is just as important.
My depression is worse than ever. My sleep is schedule is fucked at this point. I feel so alone right now and everything that I was looking forward to went bye-bye.
School kinda ended abruptly. It was supposed to be my last month of university but that didn’t happen. And I have talked enough about how sad I am so I won’t over that. I’m just trying to finish my courses from home. Unlike other schools and students, my professors are not recording lectures. Either they have powerpoints online or are just giving us a final, so the class could be done. Not much we can do. Also graduation was cancelled, as well as graduation photos.
It doesn’t help that I there isn’t any tv show that I want to watch right now. Either I’m caught up with everything that I love to watch or I am not going to pay for another streaming service to try something new. And no I do not have disney plus.
So March wasn’t a good one.
Plus, I ended up going on a date with someone a less than 2 weeks ago, and ended up I getting blocked. So that was fun. Don’t worry I am not upset, it happens. It also just shows the personality of some guys.
I am trying to take my mind off all of this but I just don’t have the energy.
Honestly, all I want to do is drink cold liquids right now.
Anyway that was my attempt at a March recap. I know its all over the place. Sorry about.
In case you want to catch up, this is what I posted throughout the month:
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/05/stepping-out-of-my-comfort-zone/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/09/last-month-of-university-starts-now/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/09/feeling-like-a-failure-and-disappointment/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/13/how-i-feel-about-covid-19/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/16/weekly-recap-all-over-the-place/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/22/a-moment-of-happiness/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/22/how-do-you-tell-someone-you-want-a-second-date/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/24/now-im-blocked/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/28/a-rant-about-the-banana-battle/
- https://arristella.com/2020/03/29/struggling-emotionally-with-everything-going-on/
Arristella 
“My depression is worse than ever. My sleep is schedule is fucked at this point. I feel so alone right now and everything that I was looking forward to went bye-bye.”
You are not alone. I feel the EXACT same way. What saddens me the most is this: even though we know that we are not alone, we still feel alone, surrounded by the 4 walls that separate us from the rest of the world. 😥
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We are all in this nightmare together. We can survive it [I hope].
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