Anxiety Fucking Sucks – An Update

On Sunday, I posted a very rambly post. I was in a bad mental state, my anxiety made me sick, I felt like trash. If you want to read it, I will leave it here, but more importantly, I wanted to give an update.

First off, the likes and comments on that post meant a lot to me. I don’t care about the attention or the numbers. It was amazing to see the support from others because it made me feel better and confident when I felt so alone.

Two. I am done.

Well kind of.

I still have one more midterm, but thats in 2 weeks and its open book, so I’m not really thinking about that right now. Plus, I have to get my readings done for Thursday’s class and a poster due tomorrow because I am participating in my school’s research fair. But other than that, I am done for this week. So thats a victory in my book.

Right now I have showered, in pyjamas, in bed. The plan is catch up on Below Deck Sailing Yacht , maybe A Million Little Things and sleep. Honestly I don’t really care for anything else and I won’t force myself to stay up when I am already falling asleep on me.


I think the exams went okay. I am always the type to say it was challenging because that’s how I felt, but I will know when I get my marks back in 2 weeks. But they were similar to the past exams we had gotten to practice, but they were still challenging. And I kind of forgot some things like usual, but I am hoping my professors bell curve because bonus marks never hurt anyone.

I won’t pretend, having 2 exams in one day is exhausting because you have to divide your time equally on both courses, if you’re like me. They are 40% exams, so I don’t really have another chance to make the grade up. Oh well.

Funny story is that one of my professors gave us the wrong room information, so we were all standing outside a different classroom lost. He was not there, even though he told us to arrive 5 mins early. After about 15 mins, he realize he messed up, came to us and told us the exam would be in our regular class. Honestly, I have been questioning his sanity the past few weeks. Also, instead of giving us the university exam booklets, the guy bought exercise books for us. I have no problem with that, go ahead spend your money if you want to. But usually exam booklets are provided by the school. We pay so much for tuition already.

Anxiety wise, I still felt sick Sunday and Monday. It was bad. And it makes me question how anxiety can manifest itself into physical symptoms. I felt better today (the day of the exam) thank god, but just as a precaution I did email one of my profs about my anxiety. In case I felt sick, I just wanted to know that it was okay to leave the room to calm down. Some profs are really strict but she was really nice and said it is okay, but I would need to be supervised, which is fine by me.

Anyway, thats all for today and for right now. I am going to go catch up on Youtube and tv shows, and get some sleep because my sanity is questionable right now.

Am I a bad person for hoping my exams would have been cancelled today. We’re going to have some serious snow tomorrow, and honestly if it had happened today instead that would have been the perfect way to give me some extra time. But the thing with exams is that we are never ready for it, not matter how much we prepare. At least its over now.

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A quirky, possibly crazy 22 year old talking about her life and doggie.

4 thoughts on “Anxiety Fucking Sucks – An Update

  1. “Anxiety wise, I still felt sick Sunday and Monday. It was bad.And it makes me question how anxiety can manifest itself into physical symptoms.” I might be able to answer that:

    Anxiety can manifest into physical symptoms of sickness. It has a direct impact on the circulatory system (heart) which might explain the racing heart feeling. And panic attacks which are often triggered from breathing patterns + limbic system of the brain (our memories of past experiences like exam dread) which directly affects the lungs. And sweating which is affected by hormones and sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which is similar to the feeling you get when you drink way too many coffee, for example. TMI but anxiety also affects the digestive system because everything comes to a halt, and exams are often a holistic alternative to taking a laxative, if you know what I mean LOL. So yes, the mind and body are interconnected. Hopefully this [somewhat] answers your question!

    Liked by 1 person

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