Anxiety Fucking Sucks

So I am in bed on a Saturday night feeling like trash. Nope I’m not sick. Anxiety just fucking sucks.

And this post is going to be all over the place


Currently my face hurts because my acne is bad. I want to stress eat, but I can’t because I feel nauseas and want throw up my dinner. My back hurts but tummy also hurts. I feel stupid and like a complete failure. I feel like giving because I am screwed and I don’t understand any of the concepts. I feel like I wasted my reading week.

I feel alone and I want to cry.

I have 2 exams on Tuesday and I don’t feel prepared.

And I have exam anxiety.


Yesterday (Friday) I did not feel okay. I kind of blamed it on not sleeping. But then today I still felt like trash even though I woke up at 3PM. When I finally got to studying I started doubting myself, and then I started feeling sick.

Unfortunately, I have exam anxiety. Sometimes its bad, sometimes its tolerable. This time is going to bad. I know it. The worst part is that I can’t speak to anyone about it because I hate hearing that everything is going to be okay or that I am just overreacting or I care too much about school. There’s also you’re smart, you got this and I believe you.

Because I am not and I don’t got this. I am anxious. And I don’t want to tell them fuck you, so I would rather not speak to anyone right now and suffer alone.

If I think about it, I started having exam anxiety during my first year of university. It wasn’t that bad. In my third year, after my aunt died was when it started getting bad. I remember during my accounting final in December, I was in so much fucking pain I couldn’t breathe and the day before I had an anxiety attack. And then last year I started hurting myself to cope with the pain during exams.

Every since I went on medication, my anxiety hasn’t been that bad when I have exams. I am still scared that I will go back to that place.

So studying for my upcoming exams, the anxiety is bubbling and I also feel like a fucking moron. Which is not a good combination for me right now. And I don’t have anyone to speak to. I feel alone and I don’t know what to do.

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A quirky, possibly crazy 22 year old talking about her life and doggie.

12 thoughts on “Anxiety Fucking Sucks

  1. Exam anxiety sucks. I’m sorry that you are suffering right now. I pull out my hair when I’m stressed about exams and understand the physical sickness, and the inability to cope with the stress, thus worsening symptoms.

    Try to squeeze in any extra hours if you can if it helps to lessen your anxiety. I usually wake up at 4AM to study the day of exams and hardly get through it all before the exam time. Finding “extra time” helps me cope with the uncertainty. You are NOT a moron by any means, and I do believe that you can get through this. Even if you don’t do well on the exams time time (worst case), there’s always a next time. This isn’t the end for you. You got this girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exams, in general, aren’t fun. But for those with anxiety, it sucks even more.

      PS. wow you’re amazing for being to wake up that early. I am not a morning person so I rather go to bed late than wake up early. Today I tried and failed to wake up at 7:30am (normally up at 8:30 on Tuesday). But I use whatever time I have commuting for waiting to go over my notes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have anxiety too, so I get where you’re coming from. I also have to write exams with earplugs because I can’t stand the coughing, rustling papers and ppl making noise in the lecture hall. Luckily I have a reason to write in a quiet room now which helps a ton. My anxiety hasn’t gone away though. 😒

        It’s easier to wake up super early if you are getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Figure out how many hours you would need and go to bed at that time. I’m in bed by 11pm most nights and sometimes even earlier, depending on how exhausted I am. I’m not a morning person either but I force myself to wake up anyways. A few years ago, I would stay up until 3am studying. Yes, it’s possible to become a morning person with enough sleep. 😴🌙

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thats good that you can write it by yourself. My professor told me I should look into doing that, but being around people’s isn’t always the problem. It’s just feeling like an idiot.
        Thats great to hear you became a morning person. Sometime’s I try to get 7-8 hours but I feel tired from it and need even more. Whenever I have exams, I try to sleep in the day before so that I could stay up the night before without feeling like trash. It helps somewhat.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I just wanted to say I’ve had all these feelings and been exactly where you are and I wish you all the luck & I’m so sorry you’re feeling so anxious. Whatever happens you will come out the other side and just feel free to message me if you need anyone to talk to!

    Liked by 1 person

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