I Feel Like a Failure

Today felt like shit.

Its just one of those days where I feel overwhelmed, stressed, and disappointed in myself. I’m scared to talk about it with others because their response is always me overreacting. But if I am not careful, this could easily lead to depression.

A lot of it has to do with me missing the first 2 weeks of school and now playing catch up, as well as adjusting to being back in Canada.

I’m completely lost in my classes because material builds up. I have an paper due on Saturday, and readings for tomorrow that I really tried to get done. But its so long and boring. But I have to do it because its mandatory. And I have this opportunity to polish a paper from a class last term.

There are deadlines. I am trying to apply for both research fairs and conferences, as well as jobs, because I have officially decided to take a gap year. And those jobs have deadlines where things are due. Lucky me, missed an opportunity because the deadline was at 12 noon and I did not realize. I thought it was 11:59PM. But maybe the universe was trying to tell me something seeing as that place screwed me over already.

My luggage is still in the same spot that I placed it when I arrived. And that was a week ago. I have not unpacked it, but instead take what I need at the time that I need it.

Oh and the career fair is tomorrow. I probably should go, but I thats not going to happen. And I know I am missing out on the opportunity, but I feel like a failure.

I am really trying to be positive. But its rough.

In the meantime, my plan for tonight is to do my readings, eat my timbits and watch Below Deck (my guilty pleasure)