Everything is Not Fine

I’ve been debating whether or not I wanted to speak about this, but seeing that I have been crying the past hour-ish, I have my answer.

If you read my last post, you would know that I was travelling back to Canada. I arrived safely, but everything is not fine.

I like being on planes so the plane ride was fine and I sat next to a really nice couple. I watched a few episodes of “The Good Doctor” that I had pre downloaded, did some school work for today (Thursday) and a read a bit of my book that I have been into.

Whenever it comes to police, I have really bad anxiety. It stems from something that happened years ago. And so when traveling my anxiety gets bad going through customs and security.

Towards the end of the flight, my stomach started hurting really bad. Its basically cramps, but since I had just just ended my period, it couldn’t have been. But I was still in pain. And if there is one thing to know about me, is that I have a really good sense of intuition and those cramps were warning me.

I will not go into detail about what happened exactly, but the pain was right and I had to deal with immigration over something. And because I am suffering from a past trauma, its affecting me more than it would normal people.

Right now all I want to do is cry because I am tired of being an honest person and I am tired because I am one hour behind and have to get up for school in a few hours. And I miss my doggie and my family and my home. And to be honest I really don’t want to be in Canada right now. And I have no one to talk to about everything, so I am crying. And I think this will be the first and last time I’m planning to travel with this airline.

Anyway, thats all. I am done ranting.