I had this intention to write about how good my day was since I spent it with my grandfather. But instead I’m crying and filled with anxiety at 11PM on a Monday night. So I’m going to talk about that instead.
If you have anxiety, you understand how it affects you and what triggers it. For everyone it’s a different trigger and a different reaction. My triggers are police, travelling and exams. Unfortunately is not the day to talk about the reactions, because there are a lot and I always discover something new.
So about 5 years ago, I had an encounter with police that triggered my anxiety and caused a whole bunch of other problems that I still suffer from today. And then after that I started travelling. So all together, it became too much for me to handle. Honestly, it still is. Lets just add in that I’ve never had a good experience leaving UVF.
Now when I have to travel, I get really bad anxiety. Sometimes its really really bad and other times its okay to deal with. This time, I feel like its going to be hell. Today is the 19th and I’m leaving on the 25th. If my anxiety is already starting to affect me right now, how am I supposed to make it through the rest of the week.
I won’t pretend, a little bit of my anxiety is because I have a dental appointment on Thursday. But everything else is just the traveling. I trust and like my dentist way more than the police and staff at that airport.
So please send help, prayers or good luck. A girl is just trying to enjoy her last few days with her family and puppy. Not crying, sad or in pain.
Also curious, am I the only person who ends up in the crouched crying position like in the header when they have bad anxiety?
PS. Writing this made me feel better.